TV News and Reviews

According to the Associated Press, sweeps week brought us the following top ten from the Nielsen ratings:

1. “Dancing With The Stars,” ABC, 19.63 million viewers.
2. “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation,” CBS, 18.45 million viewers.
3. “NCIS,” CBS, 18 million viewers.
4. “Dancing With the Stars Results,” ABC, 17.59 million viewers.
5. “Criminal Minds,” CBS, 16.33 million viewers.
6. “Grey’s Anatomy,” ABC, 15.91 million viewers.
7. “The Mentalist,” CBS, 15.84 million viewers.
8. “CSI: Miami,” CBS, 15.46 million viewers.
9. “Two And a Half Men,” CBS, 15.18 million viewers.
10. “60 Minutes,” CBS, 14.89 million viewers.

Of these wildly popular shows, I watch freshman hit The Mentalist. I used to watch Two and a Half Men, but after awhile I realized I was feeling insulted more than entertained, so I stopped. I have watched Dancing With the Stars in the past, but it now conflicts with other things I enjoy watching.

Apparently I am just not with the In Crowd. There’s only me and 5 million of my geek friends that watch Life, for instance. And Life on Mars. (Note our apparent interest in life.) And I am obviously in the minority when I say that I find it disturbing that five of the ten top Nielsen rated shows involve some sort of macabre storyline, cutting people up, emphasis on the sensational, gore, and/or gratuitous sex. Wait, maybe I can add 60 Minutes to that list.

I have nothing against crime shows or procedurals, even if they have some gory bits. I enjoy Bones, and even that trashy Crossing Jordan–sure there’s some geeky glorified gore, but at least I don’t have to avert my eyes for 90% of the show. I wonder about these top ten show watchers. Do they avert their eyes in disgust at the intimate views of dead people’s intestines? Or are they like the members of the audience who laugh when the guy gets his head cut off? Or are they like a librarian I once knew who avidly read the most dark and brutal crime novels she could get her hands on–when asked how she could stomach the gory parts, she just said, “Oh, I just skim over that and don’t pay any attention to it.” Or are they doing the laundry, playing with the kids, or texting to friends during the show?

I’ve always been a lover of TV and film, and when I watch something, I watch it. The whole point of storytelling, in my opinion, is to draw us in–make us believe something, feel something, think about what the story is trying to tell us. The best shows completely suck you in and make you forget the outside world. You spend that half hour or hour in another world, another reality, and like the saying goes: “I laughed, I cried, it changed my life.” A part of me thinks that the people that truly absorb TV do not watch these shows. The majority of TV watchers are casual viewers, who laugh at the special effects, find glee in the fake blood, or use the shows as occasionally amusing screen savers to their lives as they walk in and out of the room.

It’s just a theory. But it’s one that gives me comfort.

In weeks leading up to Wednesday’s show, NBC was flooded with promos for Rosie Live, Rosie O’Donnell’s return to TV. To be honest, it wasn’t entirely clear to me what the show was going to be. Was it another talk show? A series? A one-time event? Who’s going to be on it? Well, when Wednesday finally rolled around, I was making Thanksgiving Day preparations and–like the rest of America, apparently–forgot to watch it. Whatever It was.

It seems I didn’t miss much, as reviews for Rosie Live were scathing. “Big ego trip”, “Dubious guest star power”, and “Not funny” were some common complaints. The big ego one is something a lot of Rosie O’Donnell fans have been disappointed by. Back in the day when she had her own talk show, her genuine love of music and occasional back-up for singers she admired was cute and endearing. But when it turns into albums of duets and big stage productions where talented singers have to harmonize with a loud and tone-deaf diva–not so cute anymore.

Critics also pointed out Rosie’s colorful language and boob jokes as not really appropriate for what’s supposed to be family entertainment. Rosie Live also had awkward humor with guest Clay Aiken, pointing up the fact that both are “Gayyyy-briel Byrne fans.” Ha. ha. Along with this hilarity were pie-in-the-face moments with Conan O’Brien and dancing food for a finale. Professional reviewers and readers alike both expressed disappointment at this devastating blow to a potential variety-show revival. It was a total disaster, and Rosie Live has already been canceled.

Hopes ran higher for tonight’s variety offering from Ellen DeGeneres and TBS. Ellen’s Even Bigger Really Big Show took a different route than Rosie Live, and didn’t feature any widely known stars. Choosing a variety of performers from Germany, Russia, and Spain amongst others, these acrobats, jugglers, singers, magicians and uncategorized talents Ellen provided us with were something truly special for TV entertainment. It was like America’s Got Talent without all the grating melodrama and booing and ridiculousness. From the first act to the last of Ellen’s Even Bigger Really Big Show, audience members (and I) stared in jaw dropping fascination at spectacles like an acrobat spinning two stories up around a pole–by her hair. Oh yeah, and the pole was being held upright by her brother down on the stage.

The female juggler from Spain did a large portion of her juggling with her feet–spinning a guitar around first, and then using all four limbs to juggle squares of brocade cloth. It sounds bizarre–and it was–but it was also awesome and incredible and ridiculously entertaining. Another startling sight was unintentional–the Cirque du Soleil acrobats actually faltered on one of their routines, but they expertly saved themselves and luckily no one actually fell. Honestly I think it was a good thing–the Cirque performers are so insanely skilled that they make these amazing feats look easy, and the audience can get lulled into complacency. Seeing the actual danger of falling from a tower of performers jolted everyone back to reality, and to greater appreciation of their talent.

The Even Bigger, Really Big Show was also short and sweet at an hour, not overstaying its welcome, and focusing the show on the performers and their abilities and not on a lot of goofy sketches. There was a funny segment about Ellen inserting herself into a Vegas Legends show of celebrity impersonators–and then audience members afterward were interviewed about how realistic the “Ellen” was. The biggest laugh came from a woman who said the “impersonator” was a little too pretty to play Ellen.

My only complaint about Ellen’s Even Bigger Really Big Show was oddly one of the same complaints made about Rosie Live. As Ellen DeGeneres began her humorous monlogue, I was thinking that Ellen has always been big on being considered a comedian, not a gay comedian, so she doesn’t generally bring it up a lot in her act. And then Ellen made a kind of lame pun about being gay.

And while I was thinking that Ellen’s also less likely to be brash and inappropriate like Rosie is more wont to do, Ellen made jokes about boobs, thongs, and hookers. And then said we should all look forward to a night of family entertainment. Um, okay. Now, truly, her monologue was funny and relatively tame compared to a lot of TV today, so I don’t think any kids will be scarred. But it was very odd and seemed out of character to me. Certainly Ellen’s surrealistic humor is good enough to work in a more G-rated environment. Do they think the adults won’t watch if there aren’t a few thong jokes thrown in? I’m thinking people looking for boob humor aren’t the same people who are going to watch a variety show, but maybe I’m wrong.

In any case, I think it’s safe to say Ellen DeGeneres won this round of the Variety Show Divas. And hopefully whatever damage Rosie O’Donnell may have done to the genre was undone by Ellen’s Even Bigger Really Big Show. I wonder how long the title for her next variety show will be.

Right now things are still in the threat and conjecture stage, but thus far it doesn’t look like either side is willing to give in the latest disputes between the studios and the actors’ guild. To side with the actors, one must remember that they don’t all make $5 million per picture–though a large number of them do make more money for doing a few months work than most people make in a year…or two years. However much money they do or don’t make, though, they should be entitled to a piece of the pie that the studios rake in for that show or movie.

My gut reaction on the issue is that no matter who is right or wrong, a strike would be very bad right now. TV still hasn’t recovered from the writers’ strike last year, and I don’t think movies have fared all that much better. Production in Hollywood is in super slow-down mode, with everyone afraid to start shooting something that will then get tied up/axed due to an actor walkout. So now there’s less work for those actors, not to mention all of the crew people, caterers, hotels, restaurants…all the incidentals people don’t always consider.

An actor’s strike at this point could annihilate television as we know it. Doesn’t anyone remember the baseball strike? Fans were so angry it took years for baseball to get back on track. People stopped going to games, stopped watching them on TV or listening to scores on the radio. The same thing will happen here. If the TV shows that people have been waiting for since last year don’t show up in January or get shortened due to strikes, viewers are going to give up on those shows. New series that got curtailed last year have been experiencing a serious sophmore slump…what will happen if the loyal viewers that stuck with the show get denied again? They’re going to get mad. And they’re going to turn on their Wii and forget all about regular TV. Or they’ll go to a ball game…

According to the LA Times , SAG claims that the studios are “preaching” to them about the poor economy, and SAG apparently feels this is irrelevant. I have to say that it is unfair to have to give up what’s owed to you because of the state of the world, but sometimes that’s life. I’m not saying they need to roll over and never ask for another thing. But right now would be a very bad time to walk out on an already shaky industry. Sure, it might hurt the studios, but it’ll hurt everyone else a lot more. Including some of those actors.

Individual guilds, including the smaller American Federation of Television and Radio Artists, have negotiated their own deals with the studios. Many of their members are also SAG members, so it’s possible a lot of them will vote against a strike. And other actors, conscious of the state of the economy, may not support a strike either. Here’s hoping that some sort of agreement can be reached and that a devastating strike can be avoided.