Mar 20 2009
Can a Man Choose Your Wedding Dress?
Tonight’s double episode of Say Yes to the Dress, “Bridal Wave” and “Double the Trouble”, once again hammered home the concept of bringing the right person with you when selecting your bridal gown. I think when you’re caught up in the moment, you might not realize how destructive some of your friends and family can be to your self esteem. I’m sure when some of the brides see these tapings later, they’ll be startled to find how little their own opinion was being respected.
That’s where the Kleinfeld consultants come in. They often act as mediators between arguing entourage members, and halt the madness long enough to find out what the bride actually wants. They get to know her style, and try to find dresses that will please her, no matter what the naysayers do. It’s her job to make the bride look beautiful and be happy with her choice.
Which leads me to the question, can a male consultant do that for a bride? Kleinfeld’s has Randy on staff, a fashion director with long term experience in dress-making and the fashion industry. He knows the styles, the fabrics, the details, but can he know what’s best for a woman? In tonight’s new episode of Say Yes to the Dress, Randy and consultant Audrey had a friendly competition to see who could find the best dress for the client. Randy greeted the bride first, but of course he couldn’t enter into the dressing room with her, so Audrey took over that aspect. They both selected dresses they thought she would like, and then let the bride choose.
Randy seemed skeptical of Audrey’s choice, but faltered when she said she was confident because she’d tried on the dress herself. “I try them all on,” she said. She was certain that the bride would like the shape and support of the dress she had chosen. Since it was a beach wedding, Randy had chosen an appropriately lightweight dress for the occasion. It was, however, not right for the bride’s shape or style. He admitted defeat when he saw how much the bride loved the dress, but still seemed a bit surprised at how good it looked. Well, he hadn’t tried on all the dresses, had he?
This issue arose on Say Yes to the Dress with another bride, who brought along a male friend. When asked if he was the fiance, he quickly said “No, I’m the gay.” A dress designer himself, he was ready to be the expert consultant for the bride. As he evaluated each and every dress the bride tried, the Kleinfeld consultant made an astute observation: he was always commenting on the dress, not how the bride looked. “She needs to be told how beautiful she is,” the consultant added. The friend’s most personal comment was: “It makes your boobs look fantastic.”
The friend also added that gay or straight, the bride always needs a man’s opinion. But is that true? It seemed to me that the female consultants had far more insight into what would fit a bride, look good on her, and make her happy–after all, they’re women, too, and many have been brides themselves. Obviously the two men on the show had expertise in the dresses themselves, the quality, the latest styles, etc. Perhaps the answer is to have a team, as Randy and Audrey were. Two different sides of the issue, both professionals, both with the bride’s best interests at heart. The best of both worlds.
Watch Say Yes to the Dress on TLC, Friday nights at 10/9c.
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PHOTOS: Top: Randy, Kleinfeld’s fashion director on Say Yes to the Dress, Season 3 screencap, c2009 TLC.
Right: Audrey, Kleinfeld dress consultant, Say Yes to the Dress, c2007 Todd Pitt, TLC.
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Complicating this conundrum is when the groom comes along, an issue I hadn’t even thought about before I saw it happen on this show! I would never bring my fiance along - I guess I’m a traditionalist, or just like to set up surprises. On the other hand, I suppose his opinion of how you look in the dress should matter the most after your own, so maybe his being part of the selection process makes sense? I vaguely remember one episode where the groom was a complete jerk during the process though, which was painful to watch and would be hard to deal with as a salesperson as well. Not only would you have to deal with his annoying opinions, but you’d be half inclined to give the girl marriage (or anti-marriage) counseling in the dressing room!
Yeah, I’m always stunned when they bring the groom, too. Mostly they seem to fall into two categories: the controlling groom who wants to be in charge of his wife in everything, including what dress she wears, and the I-don’t-care groom, who’s only there because the bride things he should be. Most of the time these guys just go “Whatever you think.”
Even if you don’t believe in superstition, I still think it’s always been a great part of the wedding that the groom has no idea what the bride will look like until she walks down the aisle. It’s that added bit of excitement for everyone, I think!
I agree with you about the salespeople having a tough time when dealing with jerks…you can see on the show a lot of times that they just want to choke the people that are ruining it for the bride! And if it’s the husband-to-be…argh…